I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
