May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
