shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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