he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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