remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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