so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
