So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
