and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
