I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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