He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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