i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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