Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
