i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
