Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
