all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm always down for nudity.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
