you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
