WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
