i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
