How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
