would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
