We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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