his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
