i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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