But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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