Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize