dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
