how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wanna passion pit in your ass
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
