I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
