Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize