Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
