Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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