I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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