She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
