Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
