1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
