I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Oh god it's open bar.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
