i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
