I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
