maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
