You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
