just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
