I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
