I cockslap morals
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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