If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
