no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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