He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
