My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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