Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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