He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
