In the future we'll all be gay
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she peed on how many people?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
