when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
