somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize