Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
And then my night got REAL pukey
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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