We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
