I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize