The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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