My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
