oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
