He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
