Cold hands, warm shart.
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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