I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
this will be a night to untag.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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