People with herpes should wear stickers.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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